Celebrity memoirs tend to sell well, briefly occupying best-seller lists, despite the fact that they are disavowed by real readers, seen as indulgent exercises in public curation. The memoirist is the ultimate unreliable narrator, spinning tales with an eye on legacy and future career opportunities.
There is definite truth to this stereotype, as well as the concerning fact that parties discussed are not present in the pages to defend themselves. Just talk to Nicolas Cage, who sued Kathleen Turner after she alleged in her memoir that he stole a dog during the Peggy Sue Got Married shoot.
One pin in the curation balloon, though, is that celebs often reveal details that could cause as much harm as good to their reputations. Cringe-worthy moments happen in these stories, whether they’re intended or not.
With that in mind, here are five notable reveals in celebrity memoirs.
1.
This is the best memoir on the list, because Moore has the right mixture of reflection and dramatics to keep things interesting. After a childhood that sounds like a Mona Simpson novel, Demi marries Bruce to have kids and falls hard for Ashton Kutcher. My favorite tidbit is from her brat pack years. Citing Rob Lowe’s own memoir, she admits she can’t remember their ’80s hookup but doesn’t doubt that it happened. Ouch!
2.
Vanna White’s life reads like a novel. After an idyllic childhood, she is living and auditioning in Hollywood when her mother is diagnosed with terminal cancer. She rushes home to watch her rapidly decline. A few years later, Vanna’s fiance dies in a plane crash. This is a harrowing and inspiring show biz story and a total page-turner.
The strangest detail, though, is that before his death her fiance drove a sports car with the vanity plate 2hot4u. She seems to find this charming, but I can’t help but wonder how long they would have lasted.
3.
This is the only memoir on this list that I didn’t finish, so I can’t rate it. One detail stays with me, though. In the mid-Eighties, Everett was at the Chateau Marmont with then-couple Madonna and Sean Penn. He writes that the two of them disappeared into the bathroom for a long time and emerged with mussed hair and satisfied smiles. Is there a word for that? Maybe Al bagno?
4.
Daniels received an $800,000 advance for this story, 300K of which was stolen by her lawyer Michael Avenatti, who is now a convicted felon. That’s plenty to live up to, but this one is actually pretty gripping, including a look into the adult film business. I don’t believe all of it, but this particular story is verifiable: when she met her current bestie, the woman talked for months about how her boyfriend “Ed” was a huge fan of Stormy’s adult film work. Time passed and her friend said her boyfriend was excited to meet her, but he was often busy. At last, they arranged to go out together. Bestie’s boyfriend turned out to be Oscar-nominee Edward Norton.
5.
In addition to detailing her struggle with alcohol and improbable success as a fashion designer, the singer drops some surprising wisdom. To wit: “There are so many firsts to raising kids, and parents are told to catch them all. But they don’t warn you about the lasts. The last baby onesie. The last time you tie their shoes. The last time they think you have every answer in the world.”
There are a few TMI details as well. While heavily pregnant with her third child, Simpson claims she wanted to have sex four times a day. I can’t help but wonder what her original, more conservative fans would think of that revelation.
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