Make It Stop

Every once in a while, I hate a book. Sometimes the bad reaction says more about me than the book. (I once rated Me Without You, a perfectly fine novel, one star because I was in a lousy mood.) Other times the story just isn’t for me.

If I figure this out in the first thirty pages, I cast it aside. (Easy to do with a Kindle; at another time and place I might click with it.) Sometimes I stick it out to the end, though, with imperfect results.

Here is a list of five books I should have parted ways with.

1.

I bought a bundle of these short stories not realizing they were erotica. I occasionally read in this genre, so I had no problem sampling them. This was the one that stopped the series cold for me. The titular protagonist has a dinner party, during which she has sex with a guest while her unsuspecting husband is in the next room. She then returns to cooking and adds her lover’s ejaculate to the soup. The final scene is Eleanor serving her guests in the dining room.

2.

This is a novel about childhood friends, Liz and Sarabeth, who are brought together by the tragedy of suicide. The agonizingly slow pace is appropriate for the gruesome subject matter, but it did nothing to help me empathize. There are scenes with no point, such as one in which Liz and her family drive to North Beach for dinner and then turn around and go back without eating. I really was happy when it was over.

3.

This one got a starred Publishers Weekly review, which shocks me. A lonely single mother, Holly, meets a charming Brit and agrees to marry him. Even before the wedding, he is creepy and controlling. When they move to the Cape, where the protagonist grew up, he becomes abusive. The only suspense is about when Holly will stand up for herself. The writing is amateur, the characterization flat. Next!

4.

This is the highest rated (on Goodreads and Amazon) on my list. I love this genre and thought the premise was original. Alas, it was full of S&M humor that went over my head. (Who knew there were so many inside jokes?) The third-person narrator skipped around from one character to another. Worst of all, the killer was obvious. Not a fan.

5.

This one had a good premise. Three bros in a bar make a bet about who can bed the attractive stranger sitting opposite them. When she chooses the wallflower, the others are chastened. Soon, though, she is confiding in them all about her abusive husband. Can she convince them to murder him?

Unfortunately, the narrative is slow and chock full of unnecessary details. We get page-long descriptions of one character’s workouts. When another goes to a lawyer’s office, we are given the full seven-name law firm. I’m convinced the author was under deadline with a high word count minimum. Why else would she include such details? Terrible!